It's the last day of November, which also means 2013 is nearing. Well, I really enjoyed myself this month. Be it birthday celebration, Gardens by the bay, Singapore Flyer, Bowen Badminton Overseas Learning journey to Bangkok, Thailand, Bowen Badminton Annual Camp 2012 & Mr Goh's wedding. I really had lots of memories & fun in this month. All this experiences just can't seem to be described using words. They will be kept deeply in my heart yeah. All those memories with Bowen Badminton have been a really good one. All this 4 years in this team, I really appreciate everyone's presence yeah. Why do my this post sound so moody uh? I think partly because of my fear for results plus I'm just kinda emotional though. I'm just afraid that I can't make it back to Sec 5, that I will disappoint my teachers, parents as well as my friends. That feeling basically sucks. But there's nothing I can do. All I can do now is to pray to the God & just wait for my results. Whatever it is, it's just my fate. I just got to learn to accept the fact yeah. I just don't understand myself as well. I don't know how to describe the feeling but it's quite sour though. That worst feeling when you actually want to cry but don't know how to. To be frank, I've always wondered why am I a burden to everyone. Burden to the team, burden to my double partners, burden to my friends, burden to teachers & burden to parents. That feeling basically sucks. Knowing how lousy you are, yet you just can't do anything to actually stop it. I've never played a good role as a senior. I break down as & when I like. Showed bad examples to my juniors. Instead of me cheering them up, it became the opposite. Instead, they got to cheer me up just because I'm lousy. Sigh.
Like? Love? Perhaps I really mistaken but it's alright. Everything takes time yeah. So do I. All I need is time & stop being so boy crazy uh. When can I have a really sweet & long relationship with a guy I really like? Why does it seems so difficult? Whereas fr others, it looks so easy. Tired alr. Really very tired alr. Tired of getting jealous. Tired of trying. Tired of liking. Tired of everything.
My name is Cheryl Lor Wan Ning. I started learning since 14November1996. This makes me 17th in year 2013. Living in this biased world. Seeing & hearing stuff that is against me but all I can do is to ignore it. There is always a limit to my patience. Never take things fr granted. There ain't a forever. It's bullshit crap. Up till now, I still can't differentiate between whether you're lying or you're actually telling th truth. It's really tough. After every rainfall, it will be a sunshine. Things come & go without us noticing.
Once a HGPian & now a Bowenian. Once a Chinese Dancer & now a Badminton Player. Bowen Badminton, a team where we stand up as one. Rackets & shuttles? Like me & you.
I didn't say I'm a pretty girl nor I'm a slim girl. To many, to me, Yes, I'm fat. I admit. But that doesn't mean YOU have th right to comment whether I'm fat or not though I know it alr. Don't always speak through mouth. Sometimes, you need to speak through your brain too.
Forgive & Forget ain't easy.
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