Everything starts with my sensitiveness. Everything starts with my attitude, which sums up to be, everything starts with me.
All along, I always want someone whom can really understand me, whom I can really trust. But up till now, I feel that I'm lost. When actually, I find myself pathetic. No friends actually. Primary school's problem, secondary school same problem. Perhaps, I'm fated to meet this kind of problem? I'm really tired. I really don't know what I want. No one seems to care. No one seems to know how I'm feeling right now. Whenever I'm feeling down, I find it so torturing to keep it. I'm really tired. Yah, I'm fake, I'm sensitive, I'm irritating, I'm petty, I don't cherish friends, I neglect friends, I don't give a damn to them. Yah, everyone hates me. So be it. Everything I do, be it good/bad, I'm always being hated. So why not just be myself?
Come to think about it. I'm really missing primary school. Mdm tee will always be there to cheer me up. She told me that secondary school friends are th ones that will really be close & follow you next time. So now what? I have no one. Nobody nobody but me. I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm a bitch.
It doesn't feel good to see your friend become one of your haters.
My name is Cheryl Lor Wan Ning. I started learning since 14November1996. This makes me 17th in year 2013. Living in this biased world. Seeing & hearing stuff that is against me but all I can do is to ignore it. There is always a limit to my patience. Never take things fr granted. There ain't a forever. It's bullshit crap. Up till now, I still can't differentiate between whether you're lying or you're actually telling th truth. It's really tough. After every rainfall, it will be a sunshine. Things come & go without us noticing.
Once a HGPian & now a Bowenian. Once a Chinese Dancer & now a Badminton Player. Bowen Badminton, a team where we stand up as one. Rackets & shuttles? Like me & you.
I didn't say I'm a pretty girl nor I'm a slim girl. To many, to me, Yes, I'm fat. I admit. But that doesn't mean YOU have th right to comment whether I'm fat or not though I know it alr. Don't always speak through mouth. Sometimes, you need to speak through your brain too.
Forgive & Forget ain't easy.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Those days,
Survived the first week of school. There was no ACP on Monday. So ended class at 3.30PM.
Well, I could say school was fine. Just that I'm getting sleepy easily this days. Argh. Played Netball fr PE on friday. Oh yes, before free game was taking of height & weight. There's good news and bad news though. Good is that I grew 2cm! So I'm 162cm now! As usual, the bad thing is definitely related to my weight. haha. After I end class @ 5 on Friday, rushed home to bathe & off to NEX. Shop around with my mum & went off to meet Sean. Met him & Darren. We was late & therefore, we took cab down there. Awkward max. :x Reached Paya Lebar Methodist Girls' School. The school is really big & went in with th two of them. Went to their so call auditorium and what I can say is that it is really damn awkward. Sat next to Sean and waited fr Regina. Went down to fetch her and she sat next to me. (: Concert started and Regina come talking to me. Memories uh. Time flies. Back then, we were just a small primary 6 kid & now? A sec 4 student. How fast. 3 & half years just pass like this. :O Well, let the pictures take over.
Well, I could say school was fine. Just that I'm getting sleepy easily this days. Argh. Played Netball fr PE on friday. Oh yes, before free game was taking of height & weight. There's good news and bad news though. Good is that I grew 2cm! So I'm 162cm now! As usual, the bad thing is definitely related to my weight. haha. After I end class @ 5 on Friday, rushed home to bathe & off to NEX. Shop around with my mum & went off to meet Sean. Met him & Darren. We was late & therefore, we took cab down there. Awkward max. :x Reached Paya Lebar Methodist Girls' School. The school is really big & went in with th two of them. Went to their so call auditorium and what I can say is that it is really damn awkward. Sat next to Sean and waited fr Regina. Went down to fetch her and she sat next to me. (: Concert started and Regina come talking to me. Memories uh. Time flies. Back then, we were just a small primary 6 kid & now? A sec 4 student. How fast. 3 & half years just pass like this. :O Well, let the pictures take over.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Perhaps, that's not my future.
Ashaway's journey ends on 20th June 2012 fr me. Made it to 2nd round, but got thrashed badly fr 2nd round.
Sunday, 17th June 2012.
Woke up @ 5am due to th fact that I had a bad nightmare & couldn't fall back to sleep. Instead, I text & start using twitter. @ 5.45am like that thn change to white jersey & FBT. Took our rackets & shoe bag & off to durene's house. Met her @ 6:45am at her house bus stop, took 72 to tampines interchange. Having that mindset that we will be playing today, but it was wrong. When we got there, we went to register & we got a Ashaway Tee & a pilot pink pen. Th staffs called us to change to th Ashaway tee & said that if we don't wear this fr first round, we will be disqualified. So we wore this, thinking that we will play today. After changing, we went back to th hall & they said that we can have our breakfast & be back before 8:45am. So we went to th nearest 7-11 to buy our food. When we went back, kearny asked us if we're playing today, we replied, thought everybody play today, he say no, he playing on Monday. Thn we went to check, so we would be playing on 19th June 2012. Well done. So we woke up so early just to go there fr opening ceremony. After that, went to tampines mall with durene, xinhui & Jolenta. Went to play arcade. After that, Jolenta & durene pei me go Ehub to buy durian puff. Xinhui went home from tampines. So we took mrt to pasir ris, took 358 & we was shocked that it did not stop @ downtown east, it went one big round. :O scare die us. After that, we went to buy our food & Jolenta sang 'We are young' so I'm officially in love with this song. HAHA.
Monday , 18th June 2012
Went training in th morning, was quite tired after all. Did physical & played games to prepare us fr tomorrow's match. After that, went lunch with durene. After we eat finish, I took bus from her house bus stop to serangoon & took mrt to dhoby ghaut to find mummy. Reached th salon with a freaking bad headache. Mummy reborn her hair while I nap at th salon. After that, we walked back to plaza sing, bought cup corn. *yumyum* haha. After that, train back to hougang & 101 to avenue 8. No appetite to eat cos head is killin' me. After that, went back home.
Tuesday, 19th June 2012
Woke up @ 8 plus. Too excited fr clad outing uhh. Haha. Changed & off to buy lunch fr brother @ 11 thn off to meet Brandon liew @ my house bus stop. Took 88 with him to pasir ris interchange & took 354 to ehub. Went in to Seoul garden & wait fr th rest of th class. So class of 28, only 16 appears. Kcan. Th black pepper chicken was awesome! (Y) hah. After that, we took class photo before I leave ehub fr tampines. Train back to tampines & off to tampines sports hall. Played doubles with durene & th score was 21-8, 21-6. We made it to second round. After th game, went to buy gongcha with Durene & Jolenta. After that, bus back home. Went house coffee shop to eat with Jolenta.
Wednesday, 20th June 2012
Woke up @ 7:30 to support our junkies. But, we reached there late. I'm so sorry guys!! Cheered fr Syafiq! & of cos hazim & Thomas. Played our match, got thrashed. 5-21, 3-21 by river valley. After th game, we went to support Thomas & hazim! Although they lost, but they really played their very best. After their game, we went to support Syafiq & his friend, lizhong (I think). Haha. They won! (: congrats! After supporting, we went to tampines mall to buy their puffs & bus 22 to NEX to buy my shoe lace as well as my brother's dinner. After that, went back home to put my things & went to eat @ my house coffee shop with Jolenta & durene. Bought ice cream after that. Went back home after that.
Perhaps, I'm just too lousy.
Sunday, 17th June 2012.
Woke up @ 5am due to th fact that I had a bad nightmare & couldn't fall back to sleep. Instead, I text & start using twitter. @ 5.45am like that thn change to white jersey & FBT. Took our rackets & shoe bag & off to durene's house. Met her @ 6:45am at her house bus stop, took 72 to tampines interchange. Having that mindset that we will be playing today, but it was wrong. When we got there, we went to register & we got a Ashaway Tee & a pilot pink pen. Th staffs called us to change to th Ashaway tee & said that if we don't wear this fr first round, we will be disqualified. So we wore this, thinking that we will play today. After changing, we went back to th hall & they said that we can have our breakfast & be back before 8:45am. So we went to th nearest 7-11 to buy our food. When we went back, kearny asked us if we're playing today, we replied, thought everybody play today, he say no, he playing on Monday. Thn we went to check, so we would be playing on 19th June 2012. Well done. So we woke up so early just to go there fr opening ceremony. After that, went to tampines mall with durene, xinhui & Jolenta. Went to play arcade. After that, Jolenta & durene pei me go Ehub to buy durian puff. Xinhui went home from tampines. So we took mrt to pasir ris, took 358 & we was shocked that it did not stop @ downtown east, it went one big round. :O scare die us. After that, we went to buy our food & Jolenta sang 'We are young' so I'm officially in love with this song. HAHA.
Monday , 18th June 2012
Went training in th morning, was quite tired after all. Did physical & played games to prepare us fr tomorrow's match. After that, went lunch with durene. After we eat finish, I took bus from her house bus stop to serangoon & took mrt to dhoby ghaut to find mummy. Reached th salon with a freaking bad headache. Mummy reborn her hair while I nap at th salon. After that, we walked back to plaza sing, bought cup corn. *yumyum* haha. After that, train back to hougang & 101 to avenue 8. No appetite to eat cos head is killin' me. After that, went back home.
Tuesday, 19th June 2012
Woke up @ 8 plus. Too excited fr clad outing uhh. Haha. Changed & off to buy lunch fr brother @ 11 thn off to meet Brandon liew @ my house bus stop. Took 88 with him to pasir ris interchange & took 354 to ehub. Went in to Seoul garden & wait fr th rest of th class. So class of 28, only 16 appears. Kcan. Th black pepper chicken was awesome! (Y) hah. After that, we took class photo before I leave ehub fr tampines. Train back to tampines & off to tampines sports hall. Played doubles with durene & th score was 21-8, 21-6. We made it to second round. After th game, went to buy gongcha with Durene & Jolenta. After that, bus back home. Went house coffee shop to eat with Jolenta.
Wednesday, 20th June 2012
Woke up @ 7:30 to support our junkies. But, we reached there late. I'm so sorry guys!! Cheered fr Syafiq! & of cos hazim & Thomas. Played our match, got thrashed. 5-21, 3-21 by river valley. After th game, we went to support Thomas & hazim! Although they lost, but they really played their very best. After their game, we went to support Syafiq & his friend, lizhong (I think). Haha. They won! (: congrats! After supporting, we went to tampines mall to buy their puffs & bus 22 to NEX to buy my shoe lace as well as my brother's dinner. After that, went back home to put my things & went to eat @ my house coffee shop with Jolenta & durene. Bought ice cream after that. Went back home after that.
Perhaps, I'm just too lousy.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Time? No more time to waste.
Time to count down yeah.
4 days to Ashaway Competition.11 days to school reopen.
June : O level Chinese Oral.
July : N level English Oral.
Term 3 week 4 : Prelims.
Seems like my life is getting more stress. But well, this is life yeah. We all have to experience this. I remembered th last time I experienced this was when I was primary 6. When I took my PSLE. That seems so long ago alr. Haha. Somehow makes me sound old right now uhh.
I'm getting tired alr. Really tired though. Be it studying or whatever it is. Somehow, really tired. Sometimes I really wish to blog, but I don't know what to blog. Whenever I click to people's blog, I find that their blog like quite interesting, quite meaningful and quite entertaining. But mine ley? Like a boring only.
Monday has been a bad start fr me though. 10 rounds outside school. Please man. No joke. I 3 rounds alr cannot survive still 10 rounds. But drills was alright. Played games too, so as to keep me prepared fr Sunday's game. Tuesday? Quite slack but I can say, it was a really interesting training. As fr my wednesday, nothing much uhh. Wanted to study, but I don't know where to start & this feeling sucks I can say. Sigh... Whatever it is, hopefully tomorrow's training won't be that tiring and torturing yeah. Anyway,
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Monday, June 11, 2012
Love is just not fr me,
Love is just not a thing fr me. I have to agree with this. Apparently, I have no rights to like anyone not to mention to accept anyone when I can't even accept myself.
Something you have to know about me :
I am sensitive. I always think too much. I always take things fr granted. I might not be a good friend. I am fat. I am ugly. I am talkative. I am annoying. I am irritating. I am noisy. I am a big eater. I am who I am. People often judge, wait. Somehow, we do judge too. Sometimes I wonder, I am good at nothing. Not in academics, not in badminton, not in running, basically, not in anything.
Something you have to know about me :
I am sensitive. I always think too much. I always take things fr granted. I might not be a good friend. I am fat. I am ugly. I am talkative. I am annoying. I am irritating. I am noisy. I am a big eater. I am who I am. People often judge, wait. Somehow, we do judge too. Sometimes I wonder, I am good at nothing. Not in academics, not in badminton, not in running, basically, not in anything.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Time proves everything.
& yes, back to my personal life. Had dinner with Mr Lim & my babes on Thursday evening @ Marina Square, Suki-Ya. There's definitely pictures. Hehe. Had a memorable night with th girls. Shall stop my wordings. Enjoy the pictures! :D
I often take things fr granted. I don't understand what exactly I want. I really don't understand myself. What more expecting others to understand me? Sometimes, people around find me a bore and start leaving me. But time proves everything. Time will prove who's true to me, who's always there fr me, prove every question I have in my mind. So, I shall just wait & see.
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